Oh, my.* A NSFW game review.
Flex your clicker finger with Irreverend Opinions as we play Sakura Clicker!
Wait, they actually used the word 'clicker' in the title? That... uh, okay.
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The Blurb
A clicker combat game where you, the player, are a swordswoman facing a variety of fantasy monsters in your quest for... gold, I think. "Titilation" seems to be the order of the day, however, as most of these 'monsters' appear to be anime women dressed in a variety of fetishwear.
The Good
Probably the biggest thing I could point out is that it, like many things on the internet that involve less than standard clothing levels, is free, and unlike many of the aforementioned sites it actually just delivers on what it promises. This is a clicker game where you fight monsters.
The game models are not unpleasant to look at - typically, they are buxom and present a large variety of costumes, from slimes to sphinxes to panda bears to succubi.
As the game progresses, you can purchase additional swordswomen, female monks, berserkers, etc, as though men don't actually exist in this fantasy world of nearly naked vixens doing bloody battle.
Once you log out, the game continues to track what you should have been doing for battle, and rewards you accordingly.
The Bad
Sakura Clicker manages to miss the mark between 'hentai game' and 'safe to play at work', leading to some rather evocative sound effects and scantily clad women all over your screen.
On the topic of the sound effects, the 'combat' seems to evoke 'monster' commentary and vocal responses far more akin to being in an adult site than a battle game. There seems to be a limited number of voice actors sourced, leading to the game being fairly repetitive after a short time.
For content, Sakura Clicker misses out on really any substantial combat. It doesn't matter where on the window you click, so aiming does not seem to matter. There's only one or two special clicker buttons to strike at, which can lead to a tedious number grind with minimal effort.
The monster AI is nonexistent, they make no attacks, and even the timed 'boss battles' don't result in any repercussions for failure, taking the little bit of challenge left.
Backdrops did not change for a substantial time, leaving a bland desert dune as the only other thing to look at, and there's only two cells to the monsters - idle, and 'struck'.
By only including women as both protagonists and antagonists, the developers have forced themselves into a corner away from men of alternate sexuality while at the same time throwing a troll bone to the easily offended female potential audience.
The Ugly
A cosmetic cash shop and a link to Patreon. I could accept the first part if that was all there was, but double-dipping is a no-no.
Suggestions
As Ubisoft recently learned, models of a different gender are not actually that hard.
Either reduce the adult content, or actually follow through by making it adult content. By trying to hedge the bets, they make a game that is not safe for work, while only barely skimming the mark needed to deserve that flag.
Any form of interaction - enemies having attacks, the need to click at said incoming attacks, needing to strike vital points as they become available, would give this play value.
The Summary
The developers could have taken a bit of personal risk by making this an actual adult game, and worked from there accordingly, or they could have taken a more serious approach to the clicker combat style and added enemies that fight back, look like enemies, and added more substance. Instead, they did neither, and the result is Sakura Clicker, and that result feels less like a completed product and more like an ideas pitch for a game without said actual game.
If you are looking for a casual game with some NSFW titilation without being pornographic, this is a game you could enjoy. If you are wishing to enjoy something hentai, if you desire to play a game in your workplace, if you are offended by blatant objectification of women, or if you are looking for something with content, then this is not the game for you.
4/10, for being a below-average clicker game with some (albeit not many) decent graphics, though much more effort could have been put in no matter which way you slice it.
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*Credits to George Takei and courtesy to "anythinghorror".
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This review is hosted for archival and backup purposes; the original can be found on Steam.
